[ the flick of an image: someone's grandmother shouts, and his ears ring; and herian rots from the head, cool as day.
another: bone fractures under fist, drawn back again. again. it felt good to break gautier's jaw. his nose. felt good to force his teeth in the dirt. for a moment, it even felt good when they pulled him off swinging —
it was a short moment. still tastes like shame. he's doing fine with the lyrium, and men who beat the shit out of their colleagues, they don't get to stay on it. ]
I doubt you met many Templars.
[ he smears a hand of sweat onto the back of his sleeve. better it not stain the page. ]
Mm. The war didn’t start with the March, after all. And even if it had - I truly can’t imagine why it is that the act of setting Tevinter’s fields aflame led you to disavow your name. It would be akin to beating the shit out of a dwarf and then throwing away your fine dwarven sword as a result. No logic.
[ That catches Byerly flat-footed. His physical reaction to it is subtle: eyes narrowing for just a split second as he tries to understand and fails. Then he returns to his prior drill serenity. ]
Elves? Not sure I follow, dear fellow.
[ And then the thought occurs to him, and he tilts his head, studying Cedric’s face. ]
[ repeated. impossible to divine where blood slopes for blood. takes after his father, the old joke, but it's his uncle's nose; his mother's high bones, grandfather's hair. stretched a little broad, set a little square.
perhaps, in some dismal southern castle, he'd spy another byerly.
cedric drops the stare, at last, to write. ink spots, spreads beyond the edge of a rune. ]
[ Far from it, it seems; Byerly almost immediately stops being so fucking weird. His slouch becomes more comfortable and less disrespectful; his jeering smile normalizes into an ordinary expression of attention.
Because: an eely man who has the background of a warrior but who aims to please, who dodges questions and says what he thinks someone wants to hear rather than what he believes - that's suspicious. Unless the people-pleasing is a way you've devised to avoid getting your teeth bashed in by people who don't like the thing you are. ]
I imagine it's nearly always a problem for you. So I imagine that, yes, it will be a problem going forward, as well. But not one I intend to exacerbate.
[ He tilts his head. ]
Is this a secret? "Not ashamed" can sometimes mean "not afraid of trouble," but not always.
[ a sluggish pulse in his chest: there's no true grace in telling someone you don’t mean to knife them. plenty like to hold it so. rutyer doesn't intend to exacerbate this, how fucking generous. ]
No. So if a secret's what you’re after, what's gonna make you feel big — then my favourite colour's blue, when I was sixteen I broke the hand off a statue, and I'd take it a kindness if you did the work you signed to.
Too busy figuring out how t'get back off the roof.
[ it's a decent draft, modeled after past letters — in places, a touch too closely, should the countess review her prior correspondence with riftwatch. this and that line could do with some rephrasing, and of course, by now the paper's a loss. ]
[ Byerly easily, fluidly, begins the rewrite - catching those little bits of cliched phrasing, smoothing over the rougher patches. He's very good at this. This was, after all, his life for some years. ]
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[ Byerly's tapered, elegant fingertip comes up to tap lightly against his forehead. ]
A most curious quality for a Templar.
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another: bone fractures under fist, drawn back again. again. it felt good to break gautier's jaw. his nose. felt good to force his teeth in the dirt. for a moment, it even felt good when they pulled him off swinging —
it was a short moment. still tastes like shame. he's doing fine with the lyrium, and men who beat the shit out of their colleagues, they don't get to stay on it. ]
I doubt you met many Templars.
[ he smears a hand of sweat onto the back of his sleeve. better it not stain the page. ]
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[ Byerly leans backwards, licking the cigarette to seal it shut. The action hides his smile, leaving nothing but his archly amused gaze. ]
A most curious quality for any honest man, then. Which is what you are, isn't it? Honest?
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[ so apparently there are limits. he dips the pen to begin. ]
Was it disagreeing with you what pissed you off, or caring why you were upset?
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[ The cigarette having been rolled, he now offers it to Cedric. ]
Tevinter, that name, isn't it? Carsus?
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'S Tevene. We left back in Blessed, no one's got dates.
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[ You fuckin square? Byerly lights the cigarette for himself and takes a drag. ]
I can't imagine the lads training to be mage-crushers were too charmed by so Northern a name. Or did you keep it a secret?
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'S not a secret, [ chantry's built on paperwork. ] But I prefer Cedric. Since the March.
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[ Why not earlier? ]
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[ slow, steady, in the faint tones of: you're not a fucking idiot. he's writing now. (this copy elides the doodles at slate-edge) ]
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Mm. The war didn’t start with the March, after all. And even if it had - I truly can’t imagine why it is that the act of setting Tevinter’s fields aflame led you to disavow your name. It would be akin to beating the shit out of a dwarf and then throwing away your fine dwarven sword as a result. No logic.
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Yeah, well. People don't run on reason. [ to echo their previous discussion ] And there's only so many reasons elves run South.
[ this time, when he looks up, it's pointed. mouth taut. he isn't the only one being examined, here. ]
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Elves? Not sure I follow, dear fellow.
[ And then the thought occurs to him, and he tilts his head, studying Cedric’s face. ]
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[ repeated. impossible to divine where blood slopes for blood. takes after his father, the old joke, but it's his uncle's nose; his mother's high bones, grandfather's hair. stretched a little broad, set a little square.
perhaps, in some dismal southern castle, he'd spy another byerly.
cedric drops the stare, at last, to write. ink spots, spreads beyond the edge of a rune. ]
And I'm not bringing them back there.
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Are you saying you're elf-blooded?
[ If he's wrong, he's probably going to get socked in the jaw. He braces himself for it. Templars have heavy fists, no doubt. ]
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[ it's even, not mild. he moves down a line (drops a word) ]
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[ Far from it, it seems; Byerly almost immediately stops being so fucking weird. His slouch becomes more comfortable and less disrespectful; his jeering smile normalizes into an ordinary expression of attention.
Because: an eely man who has the background of a warrior but who aims to please, who dodges questions and says what he thinks someone wants to hear rather than what he believes - that's suspicious. Unless the people-pleasing is a way you've devised to avoid getting your teeth bashed in by people who don't like the thing you are. ]
I imagine it's nearly always a problem for you. So I imagine that, yes, it will be a problem going forward, as well. But not one I intend to exacerbate.
[ He tilts his head. ]
Is this a secret? "Not ashamed" can sometimes mean "not afraid of trouble," but not always.
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No. So if a secret's what you’re after, what's gonna make you feel big — then my favourite colour's blue, when I was sixteen I broke the hand off a statue, and I'd take it a kindness if you did the work you signed to.
[ a tight gesture to the page. ]
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Did you keep it?
The hand, I mean.
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[ it's a decent draft, modeled after past letters — in places, a touch too closely, should the countess review her prior correspondence with riftwatch. this and that line could do with some rephrasing, and of course, by now the paper's a loss. ]
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[ Byerly easily, fluidly, begins the rewrite - catching those little bits of cliched phrasing, smoothing over the rougher patches. He's very good at this. This was, after all, his life for some years. ]
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